Tuesday, March 30, 2021

20 Minute Dungeon - Troll's Tower


Recently, I heard that the man behind the blog Caput Capre had gotten into a private drunken challenge with some friends. In it, they each had to design an entire dungeon within the span of only twenty minutes. This sounded fun to me, and so I decided to try it myself. The result was the Troll's Tower, a crumbling ruin home to a ravenous, stealthy troll. I did the initial challenge on paper*, and then copied down the writing onto a Google Doc for better legibility. You can find the result down below:

The idea behind this challenge is to unleash your inner designer id; no thinking, no cruft, just vomit out the idea of a dungeon onto the page. It would probably work best with some sort of prompt, selected before you start the timer. Caput Caprae had "opera", while I had mossy ruins on the mind. If even one person bandwagons off of this, I'll be happy. If no one does, then I might be a bit miffed?

Click ME for legible text

*I don't even like the idea of mapping software. I'd much rather draw it with my own two hands, even if the result looks worse.

Tuesday, February 9, 2021


 I have been challenged by Locheil of The Nothic's Eye and Cosmic Orrery of Cosmic Orrery to an EPIC THREE WAY PICTURE PONG. I can't say that I'll do this until I drop dead, but at least I'll try.


After all, necromancy isn't free. You need raw material, after all, and sometimes there's no nearby villages that are practical for "recruitment". The Alpha Theta Lambda Fraternity, as part of a long term project for Wizard College, are investigating whether giant graveyards are a viable alternative. While most projects so far have mainly been using the bones in various ways, they've started to see what they can do with what flesh remains. That's what the thing above is; a bunch of rotten giant flesh stuffed inside some scavenged giant greaves, and animated with necromantic magic. It's currently being tested on some knights who think that necromancy is an "abomination", and who don't respect the sanctity of Wizard College.

As for this, I'm 99% sure that this is a PLAY PUT ON FOR THE AMUSEMENT OF FAIRIES:

Fairies think themselves superior to humans (because they mostly are), and hate when humans seem to try and upstage their luxurious lifestyle. So, when they feel especially insecure, a troupe will head over to the nearest collection of rich/influential people, and force them to prepare a play. If a person is lucky, like the lady on the right, they'll merely have to act well on pain of fairy curse. If they're unlucky, like that bureaucrat on the left, they'll have to do it in a ridiculous/impractical/uncomfortable costume, like a hollowed-out mossy rock.

As for my responses:

To the Nothic I give this image of a man going who knows where:

And to the Orrery I give this lovely group of people:

Monday, January 25, 2021

Answering Vayra's 10 Questions

To hop onto the bandwagon, and potentially get ranked, I decided to cover the 10 questions from  Vera Lynn's blog. I have no specific home setting, so this is mostly cobbled-together cool stuff that I would include in a world that I run.

Blog posts without pictures are intensely boring

1) What class knows the most martial arts? Are they real martial arts like kung fu, or made up ones like krav maga?

There's no martial art-sy classes included by default, although I'm fine if you want to play one. There's no schools or dojos of martial arts either. However, there's plenty of travelling weirdos and vagabonds, more than a few of which willing to teach you their own personal style.

2) Can I start out having already made a deal with the devil or do I have to do that in game?

In game, mostly because it's more fun to meet the weird spirit and negotiate with them than to do it in character creation. Devils are weird; some people say that angels and devils are from otherworld dimensions, while others say that they're just like earthly spirits, only from the surface of the sun and core of the earth. In any case, you can definitely make deals with any of those things.

(Side note: you can also make a deal with The Kingdom, far to the east. Just alert a Royal Emissary and they'll have the papers and some cool stuff in no time. Expect to follow some byzantine code of honor in exchange.)

3) Do you want me to write an 8-page backstory? Can I write an 8-page backstory, if I want to? If I write something down in it like I'm the timelost princess of the brass city and the daughter of the sun and I commanded legions in the Hell War but was betrayed by my father's vizier but I don't know that, or that I'm elf conan and cooler than everyone else, will that be true?

I'm fine with backstory, just don't make it too crazy. It's the backstory for a reason, all the cool things are supposed to happen while playing.

4) If I eat someone's heart, will I gain their powers? What about their brain?

Sometimes eating the heart will heal even the deadliest diseases, sometimes it's just a delicious cut of meat. Sometimes the brain grants awesome psychic powers, sometimes it grants Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease. Eating things generally grants power, but it depends on what you're eating and what part.

5) These classes are boring, can I be one from somewhere else? What about from a different system entirely?

As long as it's from the system (usually GLOG) and I get to look over it, I'm fine with it! I have no solid "world", so I can probably make it fit with a bit of fiddling and thinking.

6) If I make a sword, which one of us gets to name it?

The sword-spirit decides. Sometimes it decides within a minute of being quenched, other times it remains nameless for decades, until it's cracked and rusted and bloodied. People often think that they decide their sword's name themselves, but the spirit's influence is subtle when it comes to dubbing itself.

7) Am I allowed to kill the other player characters? What would I have to do to be allowed to? Do I win if I kill them all? Actually, how do I win in general?

PvP is judged on a case-by-case basis, but as long as both players are cool with it OOC, I won't pull any punches. You win by bringing peace to your pastoral little Ghibli village, or by making so many spirit deals and collecting so much magic that you ascend to something not quite human. (Yes, I associate being turned into a weird magical NPC with winning. Why wouldn't I?)

8) What language stands in for 'Common'? Or what are we all talking to each other in? Like the party, mostly, but also everyone else?

Common, mostly. Not any Earth language. I know that's a bit boring, but the idea of finding something in plain English via dimensional shenanigans and having no idea how to read it is extremely entertaining.

9) How do I learn how to talk to rocks? No not once a day just, like, normally?

You just gotta know the language. The spirits all technically speak one language, but the dialects are all so varied that they might as well be different. If you know how to speak to birds, for example, then the spirits of the river or the dead will understand you, but only barely (and vice versa). People who know many of these dialects are revered, for being the bridge between the human and spirit worlds.

10) Which kinds of wizards get to serve kings and live in towers and shit and which ones are run out of town or stoned to death in the streets? Can I be both? At the same time?

Clerics, priests, bards, witches, druids, warlocks, shamans, sorcerers, mages, magic-users, and the like are what you would typically consider "wizards" and wander the wilds or live on the edge of town, solving weird problems and speaking with spirits as previously mentioned. Royal mages are unseen, as are most elements of The Kingdom, but are responsible for many of the wonders from there that find their way out west. Wizards with a capital W are people possessed by magic? become one with it? are magic made flesh?, are walking natural disasters, and are completely inhuman and fucking terrifying.

I've realized over the course of making this that I don't know exactly what I want, only that it be points of light.

Wednesday, January 20, 2021


 Three times it wield Excalibur,

and through the air it gleamed.

Then to waters black it sank,

no more to be seen.

    No weapon quite has the same mystique as the sword, but so often they're bogged down with lame or overdramatic names. Such is not the problem with THREE WORD NAMES. 3 is an auspicious number, and such spiritual power will add much-needed weight to your weapons' blows.

Pale, Chardun, Bronte, Ossgold, and Adamant are not my creation. Look for it as you must, for I refuse to give context nor clemency to you.

FOG BEFORE SUNRISE: He is a large claymore of adamant. The blade is cracked and nicked, and whatever he tries to say is drowned out in a wordless rasp. His blade dirties water and makes wounds fester. Those who lick it contract leprosy, and can take a template in that class if they so choose. Kept in the treausure vault of a dead king.

SLOUCHES TOWARDS BIRTH: She is a light blakas of bronte. She whispers blasphemies against the g_ds, and thinks it a game, to rile up those of faith. Living things cut by her bleed far more than should be  possible. They don't bleed out any quicker, but everything nearby is left soaked and slick. Other things scratched by her slowly weep honey. Lies buried in a shallow grave.

VELOCITY DESIGN COMFORT: They are a medium shashka of bronte. Their blade is thick and has small holes in it, and the guard is wrapped with multiple strings. It can be played as a flute, and the strings can unwind and be held taught to produce harplike sounds (the bronte bonus applies when playing it). They serve as a centerpiece to the nest of a dire magpie.

DIVINITY OF TEETH: She is a +1 superlative sword of adamant. A quiet, hateful thing. Her name is carved in large, crude letters wrapping around the grip, and the "point" of the blade is flat and square. While drawn, metal within 20 feet of her twists and warps violently. Currently lodged between two rocks in the deadliest, most inhospitable part of your setting.

SEXLESS HYDROGEN CLOUD: She is a medium dao of ossgold. Her name is inscribed along the flat of her blade in tiny letters, repeating over and over. She sparks greatly when struck with a flint, and fires lit with her burn long, hot, and bright. Is pinning a squirming zombie to a tree and is very unhappy about it.

DEEP TIME BRIDGE: He is a light kris of pale. He speaks in nonsense riddles and koans, and his blade gleams with cold star-light. Whoever holds it no longer needs to breathe. This served his former owner well, on the trek up the summit for sky burial.

SEVEN SEVEN ANGELS: She is a medium paramerion of ossgold. Her hilt and blade are decorated with brass laurels. Stern and formal. The movement of her blade dampens sound; when violently waved about, the area in a 30ft radius becomes completely silent. Works as the baton for a very avant-garde conductor. 

MEDITATION PRACTICES DEATH: They are a medium makhaira of ossgold and chardun. Worked into the metal is the ashes of a priest, and the sheath is specially made to keep the sword immersed with anointing oil. Prick your tongue with the blade, and whenever it goes out of sight, you can call it back to your hand by reciting its name. Held in the hand of a statue at a monastery. 

I SOFTLY CARESS: She is a medium gladius of pale and bronte. Her blade is polished to a mirror sheen, and she is highly adverse to fighting. Spirits of all kinds can faintly sense the blade, and will become curious about it. They, even the invisible ones, can be seen in the sword's reflection. She sits on a mossy stump in a quiet forest grove.

A LIGHT GREEN: He is a medium Oakeshott XV of chardun and bronte. His pommel and rain-guard are bronze, and engraved with scenes of nobles hunting game. His touch turns water to ice, ice to steam, and steam to water. Is stuck in a lake, floating and sinking as the phases of water around it rapidly change.

BLACK BARGE SAILS: He is a medium longsword of pale and adamant. He is unadorned of any decorations. When thrust into the ground, flowers bloom around him, and any fighting within 15ft of him hurts as if you struck yourself with your blow. Gripped in the hands of a nameless soldier, on some windswept battlefield.

Saturday, December 19, 2020

A GLOG In The Dark: The Whisper

 Blades In The Dark is a fun game, and has been on my mind recently. So when someone asked on the OSR discord server if there were any ghost-related GLOG classes, well, it got the gears in my brain turning.

The Whisper

Whether you were born with it, trained for it, or gained it suddenly, you have a connection with the dead. You hear their staticky voices in the night, feel the electric tingle of their presence. You are a medium, an occultist, a necromancer in the original sense of the word. You call upon the dead, and they respond. 

As a quick aside, I use spirit to refer to incorporeal undead in general

Starting Equipment: Dark clothing, a light weapon, spirit mask, 2 ghost bottles, lantern, and roll twice for or choose one other piece of equipment from the list at the end

Starting Proficiencies: Light weapons, light armor, guns

Starting Skills (roll 1d3): 1. Occultism    2. Skulduggery    3. Electrical Engineering

  • A: Spirit Sight, Tongue of the Dead                                                                            
  • B: Exorcist's Grit, Shadow Veil                                                                             
  • C: Command                                                                                    
  • D: Ghost-Tamer, Overcharge

Spirit Sight: While wearing your spirit mask, you can see into the Spirit Realm, where the souls of dead things leave their echoes. You can see the spirits of the dead around you, as well as the remains of particularly important ruins that have since fallen. The world appears hazy and indistinct, and you have trouble differentiating between the real world and the ghost one while the mask is on.

Tongue of the Dead: You can speak to ghosts while wearing your mask. Most are either cryptic, confused, or aggressive, although you're bound to get at least a few scraps of information from them.

Exorcist's Grit: Spiritual toughness is just as important as the physical kind. You cannot be magically frightened or possessed.

Shadow Veil: You can project your soul from your body, up to 10 feet away. It appears as a faint distortion of light and space. and can pass through walls. If it comes into contact with electricity, you take 2d6 damage as your soul experiences a deadly power surge.

Command: You can call upon a spirit that you see and force it to obey a single order from you. You can use this ability [template] times per day for free; after that, you take 1d6 damage each time as outside ghostly energy begins to saturate your soul.

Ghost-Tamer: When speaking to ghosts, you can force their answers to be clear and concise, dimming them to an ember in the process. Each time you do this, you must leave a offering or tribute to the extinguished ghost, or else the Spirit Realm will begin to grow hostile to you.

Overcharge: With a look, you can connect your soul, the soul of another person, and the Spirit Realm all together. in a ghostly short circuit. Roll up to 4d6; both you and one visible creature of your choice take that much damage as you are fried by electro-spiritual energy.

Starting Items:

  1. Spirit Mask, usually made out of wood or metal. Allows anyone to see the faint signs of the dead, and grants you your Sight.
  2. 2 Spirit Bottles, compact metal canisters with a small latched door on one side. Open the door to suck in the nearest spirit and trap it, open again to release.
  3. A Swordcane. 1d6 damage, light, concealable, and classy.
  4. A Rifle. 2d8 damage, range of 60ft, takes half a minute to reload, breech-loading. Ammo sold seperately.
  5. Lancaster Pistol. 2d6 damage per shot, range of 30ft, holds 4 shots, takes a round to reload per cartridge. Breech-loading, ammo sold seperately.
  6. Lightning Hook. A long collapsible rod with a electrified loop of heavy wire at the end. Can grab onto spirits and drag them around.
  7. Occult Paraphernalia. Bones, candles, chalk, astrological charts, and various other items that one would commonly use in ritual magic, all conveniently packed into a single container.
  8. Leviathan Blood. A large canister of blood, with wires and metal clamps sticking out of both sides. Basically a giant battery, highly explosive.
  9. Spiritbane Charm. While worn in a visible place, spirits will refuse to interact with or get close to the wearer unless absolutely necessary. 
  10. Shadow Cloak. Perfectly colored to blend into areas of dim light. Too light to work in absolute darkness.
  11. Electroplasm Bullets. A set of 6 bullets that are partially in phase with the Spirit Realm. Deals full damage to spirits, but only half to corporeal beings.
  12. Ghost Oil. Things with the oil poured onto it become ghostly, becoming solid to spirits and incorporeal to people. Works on living things (but make sure to cover the whole body!), lasts 10 minutes. 3 doses.
  13. Powdered Silence. When dusted around, dampens any sound around it into a whisper. Less effective in open spaces, 3 doses.
  14. Sludge. A ghost, "cooked down" into liquid and put into a bottle. The fumes get you incredibly high.
  15. Vantablack Paint. Anything covered with it becomes perfectly black. 5 doses.
  16. A Journal, one that once belonged to a now well-established witch.
  17. Biolumen Liquid. An injectable bacterial cocktail that causes swollen, glowing growths. Works well on sealife, iffy on birds, moderately toxic to mammals and reptiles.
  18. Inklantern. When a candle is lit inside, this lantern radiates darkness instead of light.
  19. Fine Whiskey, the real expensive stuff.
  20. Something weird, roll 1d6
    1. NINE SWORDS REVERSED, a cinquedea of pale. The presence of this dagger instills a strong sense of anxiety and dread to anyone not holding it.
    2. A Signet Ring of a prestigious noble family that still carries respect. No one needs to know that you got it via grave-robbing
    3. A Copper Bell with no clapper. Rings whenever something nearby dies.
    4. The True Name to a powerful demon, which would probably be pissed if you summon or command it.
    5. Scrimshaw of sailors going Leviathan hunting. Sleeping near it always causes dreams of ocean depths and night skies, which frightens you awaken if danger is close.
    6. A Calculation Engine, inside a carrying case. Computes numbers, time, distance, and anything else mathematical. The perfect combination of heavy and fragile.         


Tuesday, December 8, 2020

(Highly Incomplete) LIBRA Adventure

 I made an adventure for the LIBRA GLOGhack by Archon's Court to run for my players soon. It's very barebones, and is pretty much just glorified DM notes, but there's probably at least some useful stuff in there. I've never been much for revising anyways

Ever since 2011, McNeil Island in the Puget Sound has been known as the home of around 200 of Washington's worst rapists, pedophiles, and sex offenders. Or at least, that's what the government says. In reality, the island has become a base of the government agency OSIRIS, as a testing ground for inducing psychic powers. As test subjects, you are glorified prisoners, being experimented on with strange chemicals. But, one day, a GRU-P bioweapon escapes on-site testing, giving you an opportunity to escape. Can you take it?

Click HERE to access it

Sunday, November 22, 2020

How Much Weird Media Do You Need?

In the vein of these things

1. Photos of Tundra 1999 - A collection of 37 photos of a snowy field presumably located in Canada. Many photographs include various humanoid figures made of light, floating or walking around. The last photo depicts a crowd of them staring at a deer dying of severe burns.

2. DOG.mp4 - A recording taken from a camera monitor installed in a baby's room. In the first three minutes, a large dark shape can be seen stumbling aimlessly around the room. At the 3:11 mark, the figure flips the light switch on, revealing it to be a large stuffed German Shepard standing on its hind legs. It walks out of the room as the baby starts to cry. 14 seconds later, the video ends.

3. The Art of the Scare - A 12 minute "audiovisual collage" of scenes from various movies, shows, video games, and music videos, originally aired at Cornish College Of The Arts at Seattle. The various clips shown focus on frightening scenes, both inside and outside the horror genre. Those who view the whole video develop moderate to severe HPPD within 90 days, even if they have no history of hallucinogen use.

4. Larks' Tongues In Aspic VI - The sixth part of the Larks' Tongues in Aspic series of songs by King Crimson. This song is by far the longest in the series, at 20 minutes, and incorporates elements of ambient and harsh noise. The final section, subtitled Woke From The Dream, contains references to the War on Terror and Coronavirus pandemic, as well as several future events including genocides in Ukraine, ecological disasters across North Africa, and "blood washing the Chicago gutters".

5.  LuminiferousLou - A Youtube channel run by a man known only as Lou, dedicated to chemistry. Past videos include him successfully recreating things such as Greek Fire, Pholgiston, and Luminiferous Aether. His current series is about applying the stages of Nigredo, Albedo, Citrinitas, and Rubedo on different objects in order to find which one would produce a Philosopher's Stone.

6. Can You See Them Shine? - A small self-help book produced by a New Age group called The Brothers and Sisters of Light. Detailed with are various fasting and mediation exercises designed to "open the third eye to They Within The Waves". At the back of the book is an advertisement for a commune in Arizona, with several pictures of a stone obelisk having bright lights shone on it.

7. Jellyfish Dive - This video was taken by a remote submarine put into Jellyfish Lake in Palau, with the purpose of investigating the lake's bottom. Footage shows that the lake does not end at 100 ft feet as it should but instead extends into more open water. The jellyfish also get larger as the sub descends; by 650 ft, the water is populated by Lion's Mane Jellyfish. At 800 ft, shortly before ascending, the camera catches a glimpse of a massive shape moving deep below, estimated to be around 120 ft long.

8. Daddy-Duaghter-Fun-Time - Footage originally posted on Pornhub, before being uploaded to various video streaming sites. Over the course of half an hour, a man uses various saws, clippers, and other tools to dismember a sex doll. He refers to it as his daughter, and explains that he's doing it to please "the Indian spirits... in the internet dark web communities". After finishing the deconstruction, he gathers them up and brings them to a closet filled with dozens of other dismembered parts.

9.  GhostAnon - A regular poster on various boards of 4chan. Said user repeatedly complains about seeing ghosts out on the streets, inserting these rants into otherwise normal comments. Videos posted by them most often show the insides of an abandoned house, with dark shadows wandering through, making garbled noises and holding various objects. Whenever the poster tries to communicate, the sound of wind distorts all other audio, and the shadows seem to cower or flee.

10. Break All Chains - An essay formerly posted on several leftist websites, before being taken down, and now only being circulated by screenshots. The essay tells that all laws, including physical, are meant to restrain and imprison people, and by collective thinking, people can break those laws and impose a "new, better, more radical reality" in their area. Since its release, leftists communities that study and discuss this text often has its members experience glossolalia and spontaneous combustion.

Creepy fucker


20 Minute Dungeon - Troll's Tower

  Recently, I heard that the man behind the blog  Caput Capre  had gotten into a private drunken challenge with some friends. In it, they ea...