Lapis Tablet (Three Theurgic Bronze Age Wizard Schools)

I, G_d willing, intend to whip my brain back into DMing shape with some very casual, low-stakes dungeoncrawling gaming, with the very very cool Tell Arn. Bronze age, swords and sorcery, the works. I was urged to consider who the gods of the larger setting were by a certain someone, and after a bit of thought and back-and-forth landed on something simple and fun. 

So, here are three wizard schools. I'm not including a full class with it, there's more than enough GLOG wizard templates out there to pull from and adapt. One little idea I am including is a required implement/fetish/material component for each spell, as I think wizards should be encouraged to carry around a lot of random junk. Also, this implies a theurgic wizard-priest model where magic is acquired through devotion to a certain god, rather than wizardry and clericry necessarily being seperate. As a final note, as usual, many of these spells are stolen from friends around the GLOGosphere (mostly loch, let's be real).

Nurgle

1. Bind
Component: a heavy metal shackle clamped around your ankle and wrist

Gesture at [sum] HD of creatures you can see; their limbs are bound together and their backs weighed down with heavy iron chains and manacles.

 

2. Shatter 
Component: a set of iron molars, replacing your own in your mouth
Clack your teeth together, and glare at something inanimate that you want broken. At 1 dice, affected as a weighty hammer blow; at 2 dice, two people with tools; at 3 dice, as six people with levers and pulleys; at 4 dice, a dozen workers with a full day.

 

3. Corpse-Eaters' Call 
Component: a rattle filled with human teeth
Shake the rattle with one hand and make a rude gesture at something or someone with the other, and [sum] HD of animals will swarm from nowhere to harrass and savage it. At 1 dice these are flies and scorpions; at 2 dice bats and rats; at 3 dice crows and jackals; at 4 dice vultures and dogs.

 

4. Agonize 
Component: a poultice made of blood and stinging nettles
Apply the poultice to a hand; it is effective for [dice] uses. Those touched by said hand must save vs. agony, in the Arnoldian sense; if they attempt to take any other action besides shuddering in pain they take 1d4 nonlethal damage. They may repeat this save each minute.

 

5. Cone of Exhaustion 

Component: A rod topped with a piece of polished agate worth at least 75 gp

Project a 90 degree, 30 ft cone of green light from the tip of the rod. All creatures caught within gain [sum] slots of fatigue, save for half. Plants affected by the cone wither, and domestic animals must save vs. death.

 

6. Speak With Dead

Component: a lead box, hinged on one side and with an amplification cone protruding out another

Place a skull or severed head inside the box, compelling the soul of the dead to answer [sum]+[dice] answers to the best of their ability. You may compel them to speak the truth in exchange for -[lowest] to the total of questions asked.  

 

7. Curse

Component: a lead tablet, inscribed with the target's full name and driven through with nails

Place a curse on the named target with up to [dice] negotiated effects, to slowly take effect over the course of [sum]+7 days. This curse may only have potentially (directly) fatal effects if cast with 3 dice or more.

 

8. Heat Metal

Component: a sword sealed in a scabbard filled with blood

With a wave of your hand, [sum] slots of metal become burning hot to the touch for [dice] minutes, dealing 1d6 damage per round of contact. Casting on loadbearing metal objects may cause structural degradation.

 

9. Pyromancy

Component: a fire-blackened human bone

Roll MD and choose one of the following effects: a) cause a fire to grow [dice + 1] times in size, power, and brightness, (b) create a huge amount of smoke from an open flame, that lingers for [sum] minutes, (c) cause a fire you can see to spread even in defiance of logic, (d) ignite something that is meant to be burnt, such as a match, kindling or pipe. If cast with 3 dice or more you may also choose to change the affected flame into hellfire, black flames which can only be extinguished by your command and which produce a horrible keening wail and rotten stench.

 

10. Summon Guardian 
Component: an iron spike driven through a freshly severed human hand

Drive the spike into something and a daemon with [dice]+3 HD will burrow up from the ground to swear fealty to you. It will defend the spike and the area around it to the very best of its abilities, but is unable to stray more than 60 ft away from it. It is a fearsome fighter, but also dull and meanspirited, and if the spike is ever uprooted it is banished.

 

11. Locust Storm 

Component: a dried stomach of a human or cow, converted into a bag

A black swarm of locusts rushes out of the bag, and devours all plant life within [sum]*[dice] acres around you.  

12. Contagion 
Component: a large ceramic jar with one human corpse interred in it per MD spent, buried in filth and allowed to melt into malfeasance.

Shatter the jar and let miasma billow out. Everyone exposed to the gas, which spreads in a 20ft cloud, must save vs infection against a noxious disease of your design. It has [highest]+1 symptoms of your choice, [dice] transmission methods, and is fatal in 20-[sum] days if not properly treated. You yourself are automatically infected but asymptomatic.

 

Dooms
1 - Your skin turns grey, your blood becomes thick and black, and you now weigh twice as much as you did before.

2 -  Your flesh becomes tough hide, giving you a natural AC of 12. Your eyes become solid red orbs, and you now weigh four times as much as you did before. It's difficult to move at any pace faster than walking - you need to succeed at a check in order to break into a jog.

3 - You have been judged worthy. Your skin fully hardens into stone, and you now weigh eight times as much as you did before. The earth swallows you up and you plummet down to the citadel of Nurgle in the underworld. You are condemned to serve as a common soldier for the rest of eternity, ambitions forever stymied.

 

You may escape your doom by destroying an entire city and every man, woman, and child within it, proving yourself of continued use as an active agent to your god.

 

Tzeentch

 1. Unseen Servants 

Component: A clay figurine with lapis eyes worth 10gp, one for each servant summoned

Summon [dice] unseen servants who tend to your fires, cook your meals, and otherwise do all menial labor and chores that you wish done for you. They are invisible, except for the occasional set of footprints wet with freshwater, and silent, except for the odd childish giggle when they think you can't hear. They last until dispelled by you or until their corresponding figurine is destroyed. If you can see invisible things then they appear as humanoids made of starlight, with nonsense mismatched anatomy.

 

2. Counterspell
Component: a set of silver incisors, replacing your own in your mouth 

You may cast this as a reaction to another magician's spell. Snip your teeth together and shear apart another work of magic, subtracting your [sum] and [dice] from the original working.

 

3. Weirdfire
Component: a lantern with special-made colored lenses, costing at least 25gp

Shine the lantern's light on a target, who becomes coated in heatless blue flames. All attacks against them have +[dice] to-hit and they are incapable of hiding or concealing themselves. This lasts for [sum] rounds. 

 

4. Fog of Reverie
Component: a small bellows constructed of serpent's skin and a newborn's caul
Pump the bellows and blow out an opaque cloud of silvery fog, lasting for [sum] minutes in still air or [sum] rounds in wind. Those caught in the fog must save vs hallucinations, which linger for [dice] dungeon turns after the fog dissipates. 

 

5. Consult the Heavens

Component: a set of astrological tools 

Measure and calculate the position of the moon and stars relative to each other. You may ask the heavens [sum] questions; it knows about the events of yesterday, today, and tomorrow, the workings of magic, and about anything that can be seen from the open sky.

 

6. Illusion
Component: a set of five different pigments

Dip a different finger into each pigment and trace your hand through the air. Create an illusion [sum]*5 square feet which fools [highest] senses. It can be reshaped at will and lingers for [dice] hours.

 

7. Rarify Mind

Component: a vial of smelling salts

Inhale the salts; for [dice] hours you can understand, read, and write (but not speak) in all languages, and read at a pace of 2,000 words per minute. 

 

8. Lightning Bolt
Component: a wand of fulgurite

Point your wand and fire a blast of terrible silver lightning, 5ft across and 60ft long, dealing [sum]+[dice] damage to all hit, save for half. Those in metal armor cannot save.

 

9. Suspend
Component: a bronze disk with a diamond of at least 100gp at the center 

Brandish the disk at up to [dice] objects or people, who become suspended frozen in time and space for [sum] rounds, unable to be moved or affected in any way. Unwilling creatures may save. 

 

10. Summon Spy
Component: a glass bottle with a human brain kept preserved within
Call an invisible daemon from the top of the firmament down to serve you. If you can see invisible things it appears as a devilfish whose head sprouts many wings and whose tentacles end in many talons. You can see through its eyes; it moves at the speed of the wind and serves loyally for [highest] hours before returning to the sky. At 2 dice you may also hear through it, at 3 dice you may speak through it, and at 4 dice you may cast spells through it.

 

11.  Transmute
Component: a set of weights fashioned out of the seven planetary metals

With a touch, transform one material into another for [dice] days. At 1 dice this can transmute copper, tin, wood, and chalk into one another; at 2 dice bronze, lead, and stone are added to this list; at 3 dice iron and glass are added; at 4 dice, the change becomes permanent and gold, silver, and mercury are added.

 

12. Implant Thought
Component: a silver sheet on which an intricate sigil has been engraved, each corresponding to a single kind of implantation; a sheet can be reused to repeat its effect. Takes 50gp of silver and a day of effort per MD spent

The first person besides you who sees the sigil after the MD have been rolled has a new thought or belief implanted in their head, decided by you. At 1 dice this is a passing, single coherent thought or idea; at 2 dice an implication and complex knowledge; at 3 dice a motivation and will to act on it; at 4 dice, definite knowledge which overwrites any and all contradictory memories and values.

 

Dooms

1 - The skin on your extremities becomes translucent. You become double-jointed, and your blood turns a brilliant golden color.

2 - All the skin on your body becomes translucent and squishy. You can no longer wear any armor, it's simply too painful. Your eyes turn pearlescent and can now see magic and invisible things. 

3 - You have been judged worthy. Your mind spills out of your head as so much vapor as your body collapses into a pile of clear jelly. It rises to the apex of the firmament where the great tower of Tzeentch hangs. You are given a new, more apt body and condemned to serve as a common scribe for all eternity, ambitions forever stymied.

 

You may escape your doom by rendering a language extinct on this earth such that it only exists in the archives of heaven, proving yourself of continued use as an active agent of your god.

 

Slaanesh

1. Pride
Component: a lion's tooth

Summon [dice]+1 loyal, intelligent [dice] HD big cats to fight alongside you. Their sharp, sharp claws and teeth have [dice] to-hit and deal 1d8+[dice] damage.

 

2. Feed
Component: a set of golden canines, replacing your own in your mouth.
Sink your teeth into another person and drink, making an attack roll to hit if appropriate. Deal [sum] damage to them and replenish [sum] of your own HP; you may decide if this damage is lethal or nonlethal. This experience is extremely pleasurable for both parties.

 

3. Aura of Hands
Component: a golden amulet of two interlocking hands, worth at least 20gp

For [sum] rounds you have an infinite number of translucent hands of solid air, which can only reach as far as you can.

 

4. Bottomless Appetite
Component: a silver tongue piercing
Create [sum] inventory slots of space within your stomach, which lasts for [dice] days. You store things in here by harmlessly swallowing them, and can regurgitate them with an action; if the spell ends while you still have things swallowed, you harmlessly spit them back up. Additionally, you can digest and destroy any nonmagical item you have swallowed, and are immune to most ingested poisons while it's active.

 

5. Dazzle
Component: a prayer wheel studded with at least 100gp of gemstones
So long as you spin the wheel, a warbling sphere of light appears above your head; creatures who look at it must save vs becoming stunned as they stare entranced at the light. Creatures with less than [dice] HD get no save. If a creature takes any amount of damage the spell's hold on them instantly ends.

 

6. Disguise Self
Component: a makeup kit
As you apply the makeup, your form shifts and changes into any person that you can picture for [sum] hours, fooling [highest] senses. While the spell is active you may shed and don the disguise as you wish.

 

7. Gracefulness
Component: a set of four bracelets with jangling bells around the ankles and wrists
For [sum] rounds you cannot be grappled. You gain [dice]+1 AC, take half damage on a failed save to dodge a threat and none on a successful one, and can squeeze through anything that you can fit your head through.

 

8. Wall of Blades
Component: a bronze sickle
Raise a wall from the ground up to [dice]*10ft long, in any precise configuration that you wish. Churning machinery powers cycling, scything blades on the side facing away from you, which deal 1d8+[dice] damage to anyone within 5ft of the wall. The wall has [sum] HP. When reduced to 0 HP, or after [dice] hours, the machinery fails and the wall tears itself apart. 

 

9. Split in Two
Component: an electrum torc worn around the neck, worth at least 40 gp

With a snap of your fingers divide yourself and become one mind in two bodies, distributing your HP as you two between the two halves. You still possess a shared pool of MD. When one half is reduced to 0HP, it dissolves into sparkling light, and the surviving half is revealed to be the real you, with whatever current HP that half had. If [dice] hours pass, you must choose which is the real you, and the other half dissolves.

 

10. Summon Friend

Component: a human tongue encased in gold

Beckon a beautiful feathered daemon from the middle air, invisible to all but you. At your command, it will sit atop another person's shoulders and influence their thoughts. While influenced, said person regards you as a trusted friend, and all their emotions both positive and negative are greatly exaggerated. The daemon may flit from one person's shoulders to another, but will leave again for the sky after [dice] hours.  

 

11. Fly

Component: a cape of eagles' feathers

You may fly for [dice] hours.

 

12. Call Forth the Legion  

Component: a clay mask sculpted and watered in human blood, one for each MD spent

At your command, [sum] 1 HD soldiers rise from the earth, faceless men who come equipped with spears, shields, and helmets, and which are otherwise nude. They have [dice] to-hit, will defend you to the death, and will follow commands diligently but literally. After [highest] hours they crumble back into dirt.

 

Dooms

1 - Your body becomes perfectly symmetrical and shapely, and your face becomes unnaturally beautiful. You always smell of perfume, and you weigh half as much as before.

2 - All your hair falls out and is replaced with brightly-colored feathers. The smell of perfume around you increases greatly; check for random encounter rolls twice. You weigh a quarter as much as you did before; you should consider wearing ankle weights so you don't float off or get blown by the wind.

3 - You have been judged worthy. Your face twists and freezes into a smiling ivory mask. You weigh an eighth as much as you did before, and the winds carry you up and away to Slaanesh's palace at the apex of the middle air. You are condemned to serve as a common concubine for all eternity, ambitions forever stymied.

 

You may escape your doom by throwing a tremendous wasteful party/feast/orgy at at least 50,000gp of expense, proving yourself of continued use as an active agent of your god.

 

And, of course, Khorne grants no spells.

 

  

The Color of California

The end of the world is a sleight of hand, it refers to a process and position not only in time but also in space. 

It's difficult to describe, but the best way I can put it is a quality of the air. I've driven along the edge of gorges furrowed into the frozen rock of Oregon, and stared up at the shaven face of Mt. St. Helens from within the temperate rainforest of Washington. I've seen ivy crawling up blunted hills and hollow industrial wreckage in New Jersey, and in Pennsylvania walked narrow cobble streets as old as anything in settled American can be called. In New Mexico, I've seen sunlight pierce the high grey cloudvault and fall in shafts to the scrubland below. Among all those places, fresh or polluted, dry or humid, the air possesses the simple quality of air. California air is different.

I never get used to entering the state. The air creeping in is gradual; the snow on the peaks of the Shasta range largely shrug away the air, as does the water of the long spattered lake below. It dribbles down lower elevations and flies across the flat land. In Redding it is suddenly there all at once; by Chico it is overwhelming. It's a color invisible to the naked eye which drifts across the land like clouds, nearly absent in some places, choking in others. It stains stone, stucco, and the hardier sorts of grass and shrub. In the rain and fog the visible clouds displace the invisible ones and the color fades to an innocent sere. In the sun and heat it chisels down and leaves cracks long into the night.

It's tempting to call the color sickly, even jaundiced, but to do so would be to gravely misinterpret the air. At the same time I struggle with what else to compare it to.

Cameras can't capture the air if they're too high-quality, they scalpel out everything into ROY G BIV. But the brume of Lynch's final trilogy of films wraps it around itself like a shawl; I've started reading The Crying of Lot 49 and there too it practically billows out of the pages.

When you pass the rolling hills, the brick walls with neat arpeggiating patterns, the onion domes of gas refineries, and you think of your uncle working there and then of your childhood, the maimed cactus behind your final house, the small, dark, solemn face of Mt. Diablo, and then you fly all at once onto the outstretched arm of San Francisco, with its nonsense billboards, a blandly attractive couple sitting crosslegged on the floor of a tastefully cluttered apartment, the ChatGPT logo hanging above and behind them like an apparition, and behind it saurian machinery with rust-wounded hides, their necks straining above the churning blue-grey bay dappled with tarnished sunlight, a bay always wider than you remember it, a bay that rolls on forever and ever into the air above the sea and below the sky.

 

Cephalith - A Strange Creature for Fantasy Gaming

The earth hears many secrets, and even the worked stone of castles and towers whisper to their great mother. Jealous, foolish apprentices and ex-apprentices seek the wild regions where emerald lights gleam in the night, for old codices and older rangers' tales say that these regions are where those secrets bubble are spoken back to the sky. Traveling into borderlands where nonsense runes and ritual circles are carved on trees and stones, too late they find that these stories are incomplete, and are bludgeoned to death by a gang of cold, lugubrious cephaliths!

Stooping, sluggish mudmen with lumpy deformed skulls made of green crystal. Cephaliths are born headless from the earth in huge numbers around a cluster of disembodied crystal skulls, but most are killed almost instantly in the scramble to take one, or else slowly crumble back into dirt when all are claimed. The few that survive split into small bands that slouch off into the wilderness, corralled by a despotic leader with multiple heads haphazardly embedded within them.

Cephalith
HD: 2
AC: 13
Move: Walk, earthswim slightly slower than human
No. Appearing: 2d6; die that land on a 1 or 6 indicate the presence of a multicephalith with 4 HD.
Morale: 6, or 9 if led by a multicephalith
Intelligence: Dull and aphasic
Morality: Depressive, spiteful, and bullying

Pummel: +2 to-hit, 1d6+2 damage

Crystal Skull: that which sustains the cephalith's lifeforce, each one containing a single spell and 1 MD to cast it with; this is a good list to take from. Multicephaliths instead have 1d6+1 crystal skulls embedded within them. A skull can regain its expended MD with a night's worth of exposure to starlight, or by having a creature's brains smeared onto it. If a cephalith has no crystal skulls, it loses 1 max HP a day. It's possible to learn the spell a skull contains with the aid of 500gp worth of fragile optical equipment.

Siphene - A Strange Animal for Fantasy Gaming

Gemstones that gleam in sunlit shallows and disappear as quickly as they appear. Animal corpses that walk themselves to the edge of the water and toss themselves in. Ropes of translucent slime washed up on the banks. Those who know the ways of the rivers know to keep axes and cleavers close on hand when these things appear, for these are the signs of the siphene.

 

Also known as a water jelly or falser hydra, the siphene is a siphonophore which lives in fresh, running water. The creature's reproductive core, the closest thing to a central body, is an orgy of protoplasm the sized of a balled-up human, nestled deep within an underwater cave. Emerging from the mating ball are dozens upon dozens of tendrils which extend outwards and downstream, carried and distributed by the flow of the river's water. The further out from the central body, the older the individual organisms that make up the siphene get; the three fingered hands which wave on the ends are geriatric, and slough off daily to reveal a new set. Primitive eyespots and sensitive touch and taste receptors line each tendril, and down each runs a nerve cord so that whatever is sensed by one is quickly known by the whole being.

Siphene Limb
HD: 1; takes 1 damage per die from piercing and bludgeoning weapons 
AC: 14 within water, 10 without
Move: As swift fish
No. appearing: 4d6
Morale: 8
Intelligence/morality: the most basic and primitive of predators

Slap: +2 to-hit, 1d4 nonlethal damage
Grapple: multiple limbs of the siphene can act in concert to drag and drown a single creature. The siphene makes a single roll to grapple, getting +1 for each limb beyond the first.

Treasure Mimic: siphene limbs are invisible while under the water. They can flex their cell walls to refract light and appear as gold or gemstones scattered underwater. Close study quickly reveals these to be false, but also puts one within grabbing range.
Infectious: thick with castoff zooids, creatures who ingest the waters that a siphene dwells in without boiling, or who enter the water while injured or bloodied, must save vs. infection. On a failure, they take 1d6 Con damage from a persistent low fever and digestive issues until treated for disease, but also gain the ability to dowse for bodies of waters. If they die, their corpses rises as a zombie and walks to the nearest body of water to submerge itself and germinate a new clonal siphene core.

Siphene Core
HD: 8; takes 1 damage per die from piercing, bludgeoning, and slashing weapons
AC: 14 within water, 10 without
Move: Sluggish, must be pulled by limbs
No. appearing: 1
Morale: 7
Intelligence/morality: as limb

The siphene core has a minimum of 24d6 limbs (larger ones with more HD may well have more), and will retract 6d6 per round to defend itself when threatened.

Treasure Mimic: the core can turn itself into a dazzling disco ball, refracting light that hits it in all directions. Those who look at it must save vs blindness.
Infectious: as limb, except on failure it deals 3d4 Con damage due to the density of zooids in the water.

Skoloseme - a Poison for VtM

 

Skoloseme - a most wretched poison feared and coveted by the Kindred in equal measure for its ability to kill the even already-dead. Any container which holds it, even glass, weeps filth and eventually finds itself covered in a layer of stinking grease. The poison itself, a milky white substance, causes a [huge chunk of aggravated damage/save vs death] upon entry into the body of a Kindred, as their spine rebels against them; of course, it's a certain, agonizing death for any human unfortunate enough to even touch it. 

The etymological origin of the name Skoloseme is much debated among vampirekind. The vampiric scribe Uglubathr wrote that the name was a vile pun based on its creation and appearance, as it was brewed with the seminal emissions of centipedes in an unclean skull for a month and a night; a recipe revealed to them during their visits to certain abandoned Mithraic sites in the south of the continent. The Jesuit missionary Rinieri Mazelo (widely regarded by modern Kindred scholars as a pawn of his grandsire the Shivan Mater) violently contests this suggested origin as a "deluded distortion of certain Oriental rituals, typical for the seizures of those of Mala Cavilla humour" but provides no real alternative as to its origins. 

The historian and chronicler Glaude takes a completely different tack. He suggests that the name is a scribal error for the earlier and more accurate name of skotoseme, or simply "suicide poison"; a name the substance earned when the vampiric princess Aylin killed herself and much of her court by pouring the poison into her eyes, during the Kindred civil war in Constantinople. 

 

GLOGmas 25: A Monster for the Gudgeon Moon

Merry Christmas Ro! I've been peeking at your blog for Christmas ideas and your Gudgeon Moon setting is delightfully strange. I haven't seen anything quite like it. One thing the weird alien beasties do vaguely recall to me, though, is Pikmin, and so eventually an idea for some kind of weird little creature popped into my head. 

Creucen

When Ite, the Fourfold World first fell onto the Mound, one of the few creatures to not just survive but thrive in the wake of the disaster was the humble creucen. The creucen, which comes up to around a foot tall, resembles a fat crystalline teardrop turned on its side with two stubby legs. Their eyes under the crystal covering are warped and magnified. The only part of their bodies where soft tissue is exposed is their mouth, a narrow bright-red slit which only occasionally opens up when it feeds or reproduces.

Extremophilic even for the inhabitants of Ite, the diamond-hard body of a creucen is nearly impervious to mundane weaponry; their mouth alone is vulnerable, and even its seam in the diamond needs to be hit at the exact right angle to split it open. Likewise, magic often simply bounces off it, and reflects back onto the unfortunate caster or their friends. Their one great weakness is heat: fire and lightning denatures their organic crystal armor and cooks the soft flesh inside. When a cruecen dies, within minutes its innards leak out into the outer shell, which quickly softens and turns a fetid black.

Creucen are social creatures, and roam in great peeping bands. Creucen are hermaphroditic, and have two tongues, one which they use to feed and one which is a specialized reproductive organ. When they reproduce, two creucen will "kiss", and one will sting the inside of the other's mouth with its reproductive tongue, The black nodules which develop within after are baby creucen, who eventually enter the world before their shells have properly developed due to the narrow size needed to leave; these infants are kept collectively in a central nest and fiercely defended.

Before the Drop, creucen lived in the territories of the Gofka and Myrivada. The former adore the creatures and keep them as pets; it's not uncommon to see a Gofka with several creucen peeking out of its mouth. The myrivada, on the other hand, see them more as pests, though the beauty of their shells is coveted. There is a jealously-kept recipe for a caustic liquid which, if a freshly dead creucen is dropped into, preserves their diamond shell; and one of the legendary regalia of the great Myrivada spear-kings is a set of invincible creucen panoply.

 

Creucen
No. Appearing: 4d4
HD: 1-1
AC: 19, or 10 against fire and lightning
Morale: 8
Intelligence: one of the stupider kinds of bird
Morality: animal
Whip Tongue: +1 to-hit, 1d4 damage
Spells which target the creucen have a 50% chance of bouncing off and hitting a random target instead

Appendix P

 What a horrible, shameful idea for a post. Fuck you Louis.

 

Jorge Luis Borges, above all else and all others

Reading and rereading the Book of Revelation for fun as a kid

Ditto with a giant 1000-page art history textbook

Yukio Mishima, my evil gay husband

Frankenstein

Patchwork Girl by Shelley Jackson

Deleuze and Guattari

Oedipus Rex

Gods of Pegana by Lord Dunsany

MR James

Books of Blood by Clive Barker

Thomas Ligotti's good stories

The CCRU/early Nick Land bullshit

The Bloody Chamber by Angela Carter

Neuromancer  

House of Leaves

Annihilation 

White Noise by Don DeLillo

Blood Meridian

2666

Signs Preceding the End of the World by Yuri Herrera

The poetry of Sylvia Plath

Paradise Lost

Long Day's Journey Into Night by Eugene O'Neill

Underland by Robert MacFarlane

Bogleech 

Roald Dahl

Fablehaven by Brandon Mull

The Phantom Tollbooth

Various Batman comics, and also the weirder corners of DC 

 

Seinfeld, and also It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

BBC nature documentaries

Over the Garden Wall

 

Berserk

Evangelion, + End of Evangelion

Revolutionary Girl Utena, +Adolescence of Utena

Serial Experiments Lain

Princess Mononoke and a smattering of other Ghibli stuff, goes without saying

Mononoke

Mushishi

Ghost in the Shell

Angel's Egg

 

Disco Elysium, of course, but also

Judero, whose writing is just as well-honed if not better in some places (and I'm serious!)

The Nier games

Destiny 1+2

The Elder Scrolls V Skyrim babyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Hollow Knight 1+2

The Souls games, also goes without saying

Sunless Sea, and the few nourishing morsels in the Cult Sim games

Metal Gear

Lunacid

Critters for Sale

Pentiment

The Thief games

TOUHOU

Admiring Minecraft mod showcases as a kid without a PC

 

Suspiria (the one from the 70s), and Inferno

The Wicker Man (the one from the 70s)

House (the one from the 70s)

Dr. Caligari (the one from the 80s) 

Messiah of Evil

Ghostwatch

Son of the White Mare

The Bloody Lady

Belladonna of Sadness

Mad God

Aguirre, or the Wrath of God

Throne of Blood

The Color of Pomegranates

Valerie and her Week of Wonders

The Dark Crystal, and Labyrinth

David Lynch

Paris is Burning

Mandy

M

The Vourdalak

Scorpio Rising

Jurassic Park

 

Walks in the woods, walks at night, and responsible use of substances.