Velvet Inks and Crystal Fires: I Vant to Suck Vour Blood! (GLOG Classis: Vampire)

Credit to G_d aka G. R. Michaels, who actually wrote most of this dang thing.

Alright, let's not lose our minds here. "What's a classis" I hear you ask? A classis is a class-chassis; a generic class over which sets of starting-items/perks/drawbacks are laid. "Fair enough, but how can we apply this to vampires" you continue, foolishly? With ease, you deep well of poisonous refuse and insane foolishness. Observe:

Class: Vampire

A great vampire-hunter once said "There are as many species of vampire as there are beasts of prey." This may be true, but it's more true to say that there are as many species of vampire as there are problems only solvable with death. To die and return — to die and live again, life after life. Where there is hatred, let us sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is discord, union; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; where there is death; life again. Blah 🦇.

A Inhuman, Blood Bag

B Celerity, +2 HP

C Lair, +2 HP

D Progeny, Extra attack per turn

Inhuman
While you resemble your food superficially, there are important physical and mental differences. When relevant: you are undead, and not at all human. You cannot feel fear or be charmed. Your eyes work more like a squid's than a man's, and are noticeably fucked-up and weird to anyone paying attention in daylight. Those eyes see perfectly through 30' of darkness, smoke or fog, but are blind past it (too much information to process). This puts you at a disadvantage against a gun-slinging human during the day, which is why you hunt gun-slinging humans at night.
Blood Bag
You have a pool of blood, in your basement, but also on your character sheet. A pint of fresh blood from a living human gives you a pint of blood (reasonably enough), and you can store up to six pints per [level] in this class. Spend a pint to gain HP 1:1 or for a +1 bonus to any d20 roll. You never need to eat food, but any day where you do anything besides bum around and talk to people costs 1 pint. If you run out of blood, make a save immediately and every 10 minutes thereafter or devolve into a slavering-beast NPC for 1d6 minutes/hours/days/weeks/months/years (increasing every time it happens).

Celerity
Once per round, take an entire extra turn in combat by spending 3 pints. Terrifying to witness, like a bear tearing a camper in half to get at a tasty marshmallow-holding child.

Lair
You establish a lair in an old house, abandoned warehouse, or miserable haunted castle; this is your Domain. Humans with fewer HD than you may not enter your Domain without your permission. Here's a link to some interesting rooms, roll for two or three. You may have more rooms than technically exist in the literal building (this is the benefit of being a Vampire), but the floorplan makes perfect sense to you. Getting confused by basic space-warping is a problem for cattle.

Progeny
You are powerful enough to create vampires of your own. These guys start out as a level 1 vampire of the same type as you, and feel at least somewhat loyal to you for turning them into undead squid predators. Likely, vampire hunters will be attracted to this activity. Likely, there are enough of them to kill you (this is another consequence of being a Vampire).

Types of vampire:

Bodice-Ripper (start with edwardian outfit, fistful of gold coins)
Trick: spend a pint to fascinate a target, making them unable to look away from you or vocalize.
Perk: one minute of moonlight heals you for 1 hitpoint.
Drawback: tormented as Fuck, long tragic backstory full of people who hate you. They'll show up sometimes to harass you. If you die, know that you will return in some later age to be miserable again.
Daywalker (start with a katana, wraparound shades, sick leather coat)
Trick: spend one hitpoint in place of a pint.
Perk: guess any other vampire's weakness by sight. Normal human vision in addition to your dead eyes.
Drawback: no blood pool. Must eat normal food.
Pillar Man (start with incredible abs, cool hat)
Trick: spend a pint to shoot beams of vitreous fluid from your eyes at incredible speeds, functioning as a ranged attack that deals 1d10 damage.
Perk: drink blood at a touch of the hand. Expend a point of blood for an extra d20 to any strength-related roll.
Drawback: vulnerable to the sun. Save every minute in direct sunlight, or petrify to stone until someone pours your entire blood pool over you.
Nosophoros (start with fully concealing black clothing, inferiority complex)
Trick: spend a pint to become unnoticeable for a minute. You aren't invisible exactly, but nobody knows or cares that you're there.
Perk: you may speak with rats, fleas, bats, and other nasty disease-spreading things.
Drawback: unbelievably fucking ugly. You're so nasty. Nobody likes you. Go back to the sewer. Go back to the Netherlands.
Ghul (start with musty suit, full set of ancien regime silverware including fish spoon)
Trick: spend a pint to imbue your hands with agonizing venom. The first person who gets touched must save or endure agony, which causes them to take 1d6 non-lethal damage each turn unless they spend the entire turn writhing in pain. There's a 50% chance of this ending at the end of each turn.
Perk: a limb or so off a dead body is a pint. A pint of fresh blood is two pints. Your pool is twice as large.
Drawback: burn a point of blood just to spend a day walking around and talking to people.
Dracula Classic (start with legally-valid title from an eastern european ex-state, flowing black cape, bushy mustache)
Trick: spend 1 pint to turn into a bat, 2 pints to turn into a wolf, or 3 pints to turn into a cloud of spooky mist.
Perk: you can crawl on walls like a lizard.
Drawback: straight J. diddly useless by day. You don't get any class features in direct sunlight. Even your lair becomes just a weird abandoned building wherever it's well-lit, so keep the drapes closed.
Flayed Vampire (start with rubik's cube, rickety switchblade)
Trick? you can gain a pint by eating a handful of live crickets?
Perk: with a few moments of effort you can remove someone's skin and don it. This makes you an unusually convincing imposter. Unless properly preserved, the skin becomes noticeably fucked-up upon taking damage, and is useless after 6 points.
Drawback: you are pursued by interdimensional BDSM torture demons. Any time you say your real name, or someone points to you and says "That's him, that's ol' so-and-so", the interdimensional BDSM torture demons appear in a puff of smoke and do something horrible.
El Murciélago (start with stretchy underpants, colorful mask)
Trick: when you would be wounded on a wound table, you can spend 3 pints to just... ignore it.
Perk: mindless undead act like your adoring fans, and even the most pompous intelligent undead respect you somewhat.
Drawback: if someone ever sees your unmasked face, you immediately lose all your templates in vampire and revert to a level 1 fighter.
Thrallherd (start with a compact mirror, fancy chalice, top hat)
Trick: spend a pint and waggle your fingers over a reflective surface to scry through one of your thralls' eyes.
Perk: With a brief ritual, you may feed your blood to a human being or a lesser vampire to make them your thrall. For the purposes of spending blood on effects or other magical stuff, your thralls are extensions of yourself. A thrall must save to act against you, and cannot disobey direct commands in your presence. You may spend pints of their blood as if they were pints of blood at any distance. The typical thrall is noticeably pale after losing 2 pints, weakened after 3, and is in danger of death after 4.
Drawback: each week, you must feed each thrall a pint of your blood to maintain the bond. A thrall who doesn't get their weekly dose can save to shrug off the bond, and will probably go and tattle to the nearest vampire hunter if they do.
Gold Drinker (start with bowler hat, monocle)
Trick: spend a pint to create a crisp, legal $50 bill.
Perk: You can eat $50 of valuables in place of a pint of blood.
Drawback: Giving a gift causes you debilitating psychic pain, though you may overpay for minor favors, or loan with low interest rates.
Manbat (start with a couple fuzzy photographs of yourself)
Trick: spend a pint to make a loud EEK! This gives you a snapshot of the environment within 120ft of you, and helps you detect hidden passages and such. It'll also annoy and confuse anything else with sensitive hearing.
Perk: you can fly!
Drawback: you look like a giant bat person. People won't hate you like a Nosophoros, but small children will gawk and dog catchers will attempt to bring you to the zoo.
Psychic Vampire (start with an overpriced knife, dark triad self-help book)
Trick: spend a pint to terrify a target, plaguing them with frightening and realistic hallucinations.
Perk: you may suck the breath out of a sleeping person for 2 pints. While in a populate area, you can't sink below 1 pint from doing more than bumming around and talking.
Drawback: incense, essential oils, smokables, crystals, and orgone energy all burn like fire.